What did you want above all else for your children: what did you and everyone else wish for you when you got married, and if you were to draw a happiness graph of yourself in one, three and five years time, what would it look like? Assuming it’s not a straight line, what events will cause the shape change? Would you try these few questions to establish how happy you are right at this moment?

• How would your best friend describe you to someone who’s never met you?
• How would you rate your general level of happiness or contentment (with 1 - extremely unhappy; 10 - feeling terrific, joyous)?
• List, in priority order, those things or relationships that contribute towards your happiness score?
• What could you do (and is do-able) that would move you one place or more up the happiness scale?

Strange isn’t it; previous Western psychology has spent so much time pathologising the negatives in our personality, that it seems to have missed the overwhelming benefits bestowed by accentuating the positive and improving that! Is it any wonder that someone suffering from depression undergoing therapy might improve from -5 to 0 on a depressive index scale, only to find months later that they’ve slipped back into minus territory again. Using positive psychology, the same client might have similar improvement figures, but ‘travel’ from 0 to +5. There is a reduced likelihood of similar numerical slippage and even then, the client would still be in positive territory! I constantly question why negative attribution psychology has had a far greater amount of research funding in a ratio of 100:1? There seems to be a belief that fulfilment and happiness are disingenuous - that we’re all really rotten to the core and doomed to a lifetime of suffering our inadequacies rather than celebrating our personal growth.

So henceforth, wait not for the spotlight to fall upon you, but allow the light that is within you to shine for all to see. List all your positive values, beliefs, virtues and behaviours on a piece of card and carry it with you every day. Each day perform at least one act of selfless kindness for someone else that embodies one of your positive values. Give thanks for the opportunities that you’ve enjoyed during the day before sleep, and plan your day of pleasurable fulfilment before rising. And don’t leave the bathroom until you’ve given yourself the most wonderful, loving smile in the mirror before dazzling the world with the love you put into every facet of your day.